God is my PROVIDER. How do I know that?
God has shown me more clearly that my dependence is to be totally placed on Him. Over the summer, I was preparing to take the Bar Exam which takes about 2 months of preparation (could be longer or shorter depending on the person and circumstances). This was my second time taking this exam, and this time I wanted to study away from people. I just wanted to be by myself, free from distractions and free from having to consider others (just for a season though). I wanted it to be a season where it was me and God. I was not working, so that means God had the opportunity to remind me just how good of a Father He truly is. He showed me time and time again that He takes care of me. I saw the scriptures Matthew 6:33 and Luke 6:38 come alive in my life. He touched people’s hearts to not just give money unto me, but resources, food, fellowship, support, encouragement, time, property, favor, and experiences. My mind was (is) blown at how awesome God is. He showed me that I really didn’t trust Him like I thought I was or like I said I did, and this season has stretched my faith to trust in God with all my heart. I didn’t work this summer, yet I still ate, had the necessities I needed, and a roof over my head that was rent-free. God showed me that I lacked nothing. To drive the nail in the head, I would sometimes come home for the weekend (or a few days or so), and it hit me that I had more than enough resources to live in 2 places at once with surplus items in a storage unit to move any where at any point if I wanted to and fully furnish the space. Talk about abundance and more than enough. God is faithful.
I’ll be honest, this has been the most uncomfortable season I’ve been in in terms of finances. I’m not a bad steward over finances, but I definitely see room for improvement to be an even better steward. I really feel like God has been building my character. I’ve never been this poor (financially-speaking). I do not have the money I desire to buy what I always want, to give how I always want to, or to save money how I consistently want to all of the time. In actuality, I got rid of my Amazon Prime account and my Wix account to cut costs. I’ve witnessed my checking account being overdrafted, I’ve missed payments, and I’ve used debt to pay debt. Regardless of the moments that felt and sometimes feel like lack, God still speaks to me to GIVE. Holy Spirit will lead me to help this person, share this, say that, go here. It has been absolutely beautiful to see how my obedience unto the Voice of God blesses others, and that which I give is literally measured back to me when others are obedient to the Voice of God. I felt led to share this with you because, as of today (08.23.22), I have a 710 credit score. I opened my credit card app and saw that my score jumped 33 points since last month. This is significant because I was so close to my goal of reaching an 800 by the end of last year, but from disobedience with rushing to move out of the house, I used my credit card to buy things and now I’m paying the cost and in the process of rebuilding. But how do you rebuild when you’re broke? With God. God is showing me that He increases and expands, even when circumstances are screaming drought, recession, and not enough. Just to give you a rough financial picture of where I am currently, I have $0 in my savings account, -$40.18 (yes, negative) in my checking account, and about $9,000 in debt. I told you I wasn’t working over the last couple of months and I recently started back working at my two part-time jobs. I’m not on salary (even with three degrees), but I don’t count being rich by dollar amount. I am rich in spirit, in health, in character, in love, in joy, in the fruit of the Spirit, in support, in community, in talents and gifts, in resources, in ability, but not because of me, it’s all because of our wonderful Father in Heaven. I have no school debt, my car is paid for, I have a roof over my head (that is still rent-free), and I’m clothed and fed daily.
I know the Lord, Jesus Christ. I belong to God. Therefore, I have benefits and an inheritance. I have access to the Kingdom of God which trumps any little system here on earth. So, it’s hard for me to buckle in unfavorable situations. You won’t catch me bowing to a dollar because times are hard. God sustains me. Grind culture doesn’t phase me. God provides, and He is faithful.
I’m learning more and more of what Paul meant in Philippians 4:11-13, KJV: “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” The NIV says it like this: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
To God be the GLORY!
Be sensitive to Holy Spirit, because this is what I found true in my situation:
You may feel discouraged, but cheer someone else on.
You may feel or be broke, but give of your talents, time, support (money is not the only gift).
You may be deep in problems, but take the focus off of you, and pray for someone else.
True contentment, true joy, true peace, and true love is found in Jesus Christ. Stop looking for it everywhere and in everyone else.
Much love,
Sidni Elise
Comments